In my own way

Claudia Stewart

Blog #30 of 49

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February 4th, 2013 - 10:57 AM

In my own way

The title of the blog could be taken two ways; that I do things in my own way (which I do), but also that I get in my own way...which I also do.

I got some work done on the Peggy piece this week, but also found myself getting in my own way somewhat. Fear? I think so. Fear of failure. Silly. I've been painting for how long? Kindergarten?

I do art. It's what I'm about. I see my mother, who had called herself an artist, and she gave it up in favour of music. Neither here nor there, I guess, but she doesn't even want to pick up a pencil and draw...is that fear too? Fear of being a failure, of being "rusty" or being "not good enough". She was ever the perfectionist.

I find perfectionism can get in the way of creating art. It ties your hands, whereas painting in the moment and not caring about the outcome frees you to play with the materials. To say, "what image would be the most fun?" "What image would not only surprise the viewer and reach into his or her unconscious, but what would do that for me? For surely, if there is a resonance with myself, and I am human (usually), it could call to others as well.

So back to the drawing-a-day idea, as well as supplemented by painting in the evening. Let's see if I can do it this week.

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