A Teacher's Sadness

Artwork: #196 of 359 by J Vincent Scarpace

A Teacher's Sadness Painting - A Teachers Sadness Fine Art Print - J Vincent Scarpace

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Title:

A Teacher's Sadness

Artist:

J Vincent Scarpace

Medium:

Painting - Oil On Canvas

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Description:

This painting, "A Teacher's Sadness" is part of the "Melancholia Infinitum" series of original oils on canvas, from the artist. See the entire series here: http://www.ipaintfish.com/fish_art_melancholia_infinitum.htm. Description, from J's website: I might be a little sad when thinking back on the lost promise of being a school teacher. I earned the highest of grades, working to very best of my abilities, in most of my education and preparation to become a certified public school teacher � You see? I had graduated in 3 years with a 4-year degree and 3 teaching certificates, too (all, while working full-time for myself, part-time for the school, as a new husband to my very supportive wife, as an artist and art instructor, and even working some at a well-known, busy, west Texas art center). I aced my practicum and student teaching, won all kinds of so-called accolades � searched for a teaching job, found a willing school district some 300 miles away, moved my small family across Texas, interviewed, and earned a great position as a public school teacher � and then, 'BAMMMM'� I met a wall that was thicker than me.

And yet, even with ALL that promise, all that commended talent, all that patience � teaching, a
least where I was at, was not for me. It took a while to fully accept that, too. I had fought too long
and too hard (damn it) to get to where I thought I was.

The pressures of 'teaching to a test' and the stressing over earning 'recognition' as a school were a lot to handle; even too much, at times. Stress became no longer a friendly motivator, but now WAS the motivation, and the mind set, and the culture of the classroom and campus (admin pushed hard to find fault), and blame was the 'name of the game,' rampant across the school district once intelligent and kind enough to hire me or so I thought. They gave me a chance, and then they killed me - in my opinion. 'Jason,' now gone, has since become 'J.' as a tool toward helping to forget the past and the pain.

Happiness faded, despair set in, and eventually I allowed it to change me. Yes, I was to blame too,
rest assured - I know this, and well; however, I was a different person. No longer happy, I was sad.
No longer looking forward to teaching the future, I was living well beyond a brighter future which
seemingly no longer existed.

I wanted out, and eventually, I was let go.
Freedom, is a cage, no doubt, I often think. But at least I am caged, safer for all involved, too.
I am afraid.

But for paintings like this, from my own mind, hand, heart, and soul ... I am a MUCH happier artist
(and human, being), as well.
Copyright 2010 J. Vincent Scarpace, Artist and www.ipaintfish.com
All rights reserved.

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