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Mixed Media - Mixed Media
This is the first time that I actually did a self portrait. Never have I truely felt like an artist before, until I did this piece. By self examining, looking deep inside of myself, letting go of all the anger and resentment that I held onto. Casting out the demons that remained in me that I thought were long gone, but they keep creaping in, finding the slightest cracks.
The grey areas represent most of my past. Putting that stuff behind me. Of the the words of abuse that was used for me. From family, friends, and some cases intament relations.
The colored areas represent my new life. At times it just feels like life just got splased everywhere. But the color areas are the important part in my life as of now. Leaving the dead decaying life, to enter a life worth living. Meaningful. A reason to push forward. I have a family to support. I have the most wonderful church family that was given to me by the grace of our Heavenly Father. A new life was given into me. My eyes revealed opened. I know now how to serve my Father and my wife. How to love them more. By saying one of the most profound words that anyone could ever say to someone that you love. I submit. I surrender. I am here, send me. I give out my hands palms up.
I wear the red cross on my face. To hide my idenity of reality. I worn it in the past, putting on my comic face. Wanting to live in my own fantasy in the real world. But I also wear a brand new cross on my face, to represent my love and faithfulness of my personal savior, Jesus Christ. I wear it for I am not ashamed.
I draw on my canvas, my heart that became real. My heart was stone like, turning to the soft and fragile flesh. I know I am running out of time as my heart sputters and spits out the deacay. For I do not know how much time I do have left. The numbers on the clock is missing on my heart. I just know my time is short. And I long to go home to be with my Heavenly Father, and maybe just, just maybe my mother that helped planted the seed of Christ in me long ago.
February 20th, 2013
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