Description:
From childhood I was always told to do as your told, act your age, keep quiet. I always felt different & found it hard to fit in. I didn't know my place, or how to be me. I had to always try to please my parents & struggled to make a C. I was tormented & beaten up as a little girl because I dressed in rags as we were poor. I was told by my parents that I had to be in the band. I had to be in the band because my sister & all my cousins were in the band. They were all smart making straight A's & musically gifted, always winning awards, while I faked my way through from 1st grade to 11th grade never uttering a note from my dreaded clarinet that I hated with a passion. My senior year, I have had it! I was tired of trying to please everyone everyday of my life. I told my parents I refused to take band my last year of high school. They were upset, but I stood my ground. I wanted to take a class that I wanted. That would be Art
Class. The little girl in this picture is my very 1st drawing I had done. I had redrawn her. (the original drawing is entitled high school senior year art class 1st drawing) The others in the class thought it was the greatest drawing. For once I felt I found myself & was happy with myself for something. I belonged, I fit in... Soon after I went to art school. I did very well & was one of the only few in my class to pass my portfolio review. Peopled loved my work. Again, I felt I found myself, I now belong, I fit in. Right after graduation I got my 1st art related job with Picture Pages with Bill Cosby! I was excited & proud. They loved my work, I found myself, I fit in. But it wasnt enough money, rent was due & bills were to be paid. And so I spent over 20 years again for other people. Meaningless jobs just to pay bills & living my life again for others. So here I am again, the rebel again has had enough, time is
almost up. I have had enough & decided to ressurect my art once again, no more meaningless jobs to pay bills & no more living for others happiness while I fade away. This is me the artist. This is my life, my heart, & my soul on paper. It took me over 20 years to go full circle & to find my place on earth once again. The butterfly represents me & the changes & the cycles & the transformations we go through. From birth, to the moment where you let go & become yourself. Going full circle, this is me, I belong, I fit in, I dance alone...
Comments
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Hazel Billingsley
Cypress, TX - United States
Wonderful art & story. Sometimes it takes a long time to find where we fit in, it can be a struggle but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Art & photography is my passion in life. I can't tell you how many times that passion has helped me through the mental challenges of life, through those dark days, always with me, a light in the dark so to speak! Let it shine for you! F/V
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You for those beautiful words Hazel. You & I & all of us can work through anything with our gift of artistic expression. We are the lucky ones... :)
Gary Smith
Presque Isle, ME - United States
This is a beautiful Drawing Carla! f/v
Carla Carson replied:
Gary, thank you so kindly for the sweet comment... thank you :)
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You so much Evelina... :)
Evelina Popilian
Calgary, AB - Canada
Superb! Love it, Carla, huge fav,v
Gerald Strine
Pinckney, MI - United States
Hey Carlia I am so glad I read your description on this I love the story of you and think it is great you put yourself out their in such a personal way.I Have had you on my watch list ever since I found you and love your strong and passionate art. I wish you the best of luck and look forward to your future works.
Carla Carson replied:
Gerald, Thank You so much for that sweet comment. It made me cry..... life has always been such a struggle for me, & it still is. I came to the fact that thats just the way it is. I don't mind it though, in fact, I love a good challenge. The hard times make us stronger too. Life is as they say a great journey. I love it, & wouldn't change a thing. Everything happens for a reason. I don't want it to end, but know it has to one day. I'm trying to make the best of my days, & I cherrish life & every day. I hope my art helps others to know they are not alone in life & with their struggles. We will work through the tough times & keep on keeping on until the big guy upstairs says time is up.... Gerald, thank you for making my day today. I'm happy you have me on your watch list. I'll continue to bear my heart & soul out for the world to see. This is me... :)
Danielle Haney
Unadilla, NY - United States
Oh Carla... what an Image! What a story!! Thanks for sharing this~ you're an Amazing Lady!
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You so much Dani! Again, I'm so glad to see you here again... :)
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You Sandi so much for the V&F! :)
Photography Moments - Sandi
Boise, ID - United States
v/f
Rory Sagner
Yelm, WA - United States
Yayyyyyy!!!! Just goes to show what good taste I have...guffaw!!!! Congratulations dear one!!!!
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You Ms. Sagner!!! :D Yes! you have very good taste, thats why you are a great photographer, & little Opie Talor likes your work too!!!! HAAAAAA!!!! :D
Penny Hunt
Kalamazoo, MI - United States
Yay Carla, congratulations!!! This is a revisit, already V/F!
Carla Carson replied:
Aw, Thank You so much Miss Penny... :)
Gray Artus
Asheville, NC - United States
OH I POSTED THE WINNER ON MY FACEBOOK AS WELL CONGRATS AGAIN!! :)
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You for that Gray! I'm not on FB anymore, but I'm very grateful to you, you know that! :)
Gray Artus
Asheville, NC - United States
CARLA CARLA CARLA!! CONGRATULATIONS MY FRIEND ON YOUR 3RD PLACE FINISH IN MOST CREATIVE SELF PORTRAIT CONTEST!! AMAZING WORK AS ALWAYS!! V/F
Carla Carson replied:
Gray Gray Gray!!!! Thank You as always!!! :D
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
I just realized I Won 3rd Place for my drawing in the "Most Creative Self Portrait" Contest! This one especially is a great honor for me... What a great surprise to start my day... Thanks to all who voted for me from the bottom & all sides of my heart. I found my place, I fit in, I belong........ :)
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Done rebelling for a while, lol! Thank You Greg... :D
Greg Patzer
Colville, Wa - United States
For The Rebel grows !!!! Great Work......Greg
Rory Sagner
Yelm, WA - United States
I saw this drawing in the self portrait contest and fell completely in love with it. It spoke volumes to me before I ever even came here to your gallery and read your description, but I am glad that I did, and thankful once again for your amazing honesty. It's a gift to be able to inspire others...and perhaps even save them from the pain that we have endured during our lessons. The drawing itself is of course exquisite. I love how you have used the bits of color...symbolically and compositionally....completely wonderful. The way she (you) is reaching out to touch the butterfly...well, to me it immediately evoked the sense of daring to reach out and touch your greatest dreams...and your own self-realization because indeed, the butterfly is what comes after the caterpillar and the chrysalis! From your narrative it appears that this drawing was a prophecy that you were to fulfill and though waiting all those years to do so might have felt like a hardship, I cannot help but think that it was somehow critical in evolving you into the superb artist and deeply insightful person that you are. I have been taught that it's "all about the journey," and I feel your journey and your talent illustrate that concept beautifully. v/f
Carla Carson replied:
Rory, I absolutely adore you... your a very insightful & wonderful person. Thank You.. Yes, the journey, quite a journey it is & its called life! And oh how much I am grateful & love this life & living. I sound like a broken record when I say this, but I'll say it again, Everything happens for a reason. It is the flow of things & life. II now think that it was not the time back then, just the beginning of things. I had all those years of life & inspiration & of the beautiful people who came in & out of my life. Now I have something to show, & lots of storys to tell through this gift..... I wouldn't change a thing. I'm very grateful & humbled... :)
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Chrisann, That is such a wonderful comment, & thank you so so much!!! from my heart, thank You.... :)
Chrisann Ellis
Phoenix, AZ - United States
Carla, OMG! This is Brilliant and I see a beautiful women reaching for the passion she wants!! Your talent and strength is so well felt and seen.. fav./vt!!
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
That was a beautiful statement Chris, & you made me cry.. it's sooo hard sometimes, really really hard, but people like you is what keep people like me going. Thank You from my heart.... :)
Chris Gudger
Fresno, CA - United States
"I dance alone. . ." You may feel it to be so. But there are so many who appreciate the dance of beauty that you do.
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You for the lovely heartfelt comment Mona.. :)
Mona Edulescu
Lyon - France
Thank you for sharing with us your fantastic life story, Carla... You're such a gifted artist and you definitely belong to the Art World...:) Love this very first drawing of you, is a wonderful piece full of sensibility and talent! F&V
VALIA BRADSHAW
ANNAPOLIS, MA - United States
What a touching life story!!!! Congratulations, Carla!!! V/F
Carla Carson replied:
Aw, thank you Valia so much! :)
Jeff Breiman
Hicksville, NY - United States
What a touching story. Your drawings reveal your passion for art. I enjoy your work immensely. Maybe one day you'll win the Lottery!
Carla Carson replied:
LOL! I should probably start playing the lottery then! Thank You Jeff, I love your work too! :D
Randy Rosenberger
Iola, WI - United States
Carla, this is one of the most creative and resplendent charcoals and pastels depiction I have ever had the pleasure to view! I just love it. Your details and your thoughts are so exuded in this piece! Very heartwarming and wonderful viewing experience! Love the color of the "flying flower" and the girl is magnificent! Great composition! Awesome piece of glorious art work! You got the big "Elvis" fave and vote and tweet and FB and g+1 on this masterpiece of creativity and beauty! Thanks much for sharing!
Carla Carson replied:
WOW! You just got the "KING" of comments award from mua!!!! Thank You Randy!!! You just made my night! You are definately a King to me & my heart tonight.... Thank You so much! :D
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
THAT! is a wonderful thing to say! Thank You Angela for a great & uplifting comment! Thank You :)
Angela Davies
Gettysburg, PA - United States
A beautiful drawing and story to go along with it! Quite inspiring! You will never dance alone again; your muse dances with you! F/V
Juls Adams
Eagar, AZ - United States
Wow, Carla! You go Sista! Your incredible talent speaks for itself! People can only hold us back for so long then watch the hell out! Happy Trails to you......
Carla Carson replied:
ha ha! What a great comment Juls! Thank You! You made me laugh out loud! & how true! You get so tired of it all, & at one point you say *@#% it!! lol! Love the comment & your an awesome neighbor! :D
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Oliver, Thank You so much... I was just thinking as I'm working on my next picture how good this feels to me inside. I'm in my own little quiet world & it is the only time I can find peace inside of me. I just wish we could live forever, time is running so fast. There is so much I want to do. But it is the way it all was supposed to happen.... "Everything happens for a reason" it's all been planned out. :) Oliver, thank you for taking the time... Carla :)
Oliver Wong
Kuantan, Pa - Malaysia
Wonderful painting and story. Love it Carla. At last you have found you and enjoy what you always wanted to.
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You both Deb & Dave so very much! :)
Debra and Dave Vanderlaan
Lake Worth, FL - United States
Love your color selection work Carla! Very artistic and eye-catching. We voted! Celebrate life, Debra and Dave
Marie Gale
Montreal, QC - Canada
Carla...your image is simply wonderful...but it's your description that hits me like a ton of bricks!!!! You describe so well a situation that so many of us have faced at one point or another...this is my pic of the day...for it's creativity, it's beauty and most of it it's meaning!! Thank you for sharing!! v/f!
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You so much for that Marie... This is what my art does for me today. It helps me to express myself, how I feel & the things I care about & love... art from my heart :)
Penny Hunt
Kalamazoo, MI - United States
First what an amazing piece of artwork and second what an amazing story! Thanks for sharing, you could squeeze in being a writer on the side! f/v All that talent just waiting to be tapped!
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You so much Penny!!! I do enjoy writing quite a bit
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You Christy so much, I really appreciate your compliments! :)
Christy Usilton
Tavares, FL - United States
Oh Carla, I am so moved by this art ad it is so very, very beautiful! v/f and added to favorites collection
Tracy Hall
USA UK, Ut - United Kingdom
Wow, what can I say, this is just so beautiful, your work is perfection.
Carla Carson replied:
Tracy, thank you so very very much... :)
Melinda Firestone-White
Portland, OR - United States
Wow!! Not only a talented artist but talented at writing as well. I think you could write a book about your life and it would sell. Great image!!
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You for that Melinda! Thank You for the wonderful compliment... :)
Gothicolors With Crows
Crows Of, NY - United States
What an absolutely wonderful description, and the image is extraordinarly stunning and it means so much with your words, so glad you went back to art!
Carla Carson replied:
me too! Thank You so much for the wonderful comment GC! :D
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You so much Carl! :D
Carl Rolfe
Bendigo, Vi - Australia
beautiful drawing and the description is fascinating and cheers to you :) v
Branko Jovanovic
Belgrade, Se - Yugoslavia
ohhh :) hank You so much dear sweet & most talented & gifted Carla and I adore you & your work :)After these words I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face :) Thank you for that wonderful feeling
Carla Carson replied:
Branko, your so cute & silly.. ha ha you made me smile :D We can both sleep tonight with smiles on our faces! me :) you :)
Branko Jovanovic
Belgrade, Se - Yugoslavia
beautiful story and all your work is clean and honest ... I'm happy for your success and I congratulate you on making a strong push of virtual hands ... bravo Carla ....v&f pint and tweet
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You so much dear sweet & most talented & gifted Branko!!! I adore you & your work & thank you so very much for your support & kindness. You make me laugh & cry with your comments on here. Your awesome & brilliant! :)
Gun Legler
Bollebygd - Sweden
Your tuching story I guess many of us can recognise ourselves in! You did it, even if it took many years, that's what count. So happy you could flower making art! My real meeting with art was in middle life, and even then my father objected and made it difficult for me. Up to then I was drawing and painting, but they saw is as useless spending of time. After leaving work and begin tending Art School I felt at home for first time in my life. You see, many of us have the same experiences! Thanks for showing us this wonderful drawing, showing your talent, and sharing your story ! FV
Carla Carson replied:
I'm so happy you also shared with me Gun. I thank you very much for that, your kind words. Your a very thoughtful & very talented lady. I think our work is better after waiting a long time to express. I have said I think of it as a lifetime of experiences & passions & loves & life built & bottled up until we can express ourselves perfectly. We can now share our incredible journeys with the rest of the world! I love life, & I will make the best of every moment. I will even find worth in even our darkest of times. I love art & love how we can express ourselves through it. I think we are the lucky ones....
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You so much for that Florin... although our styles & mediums are so vastly different, I still really love your art. It is a nice change for me, & somehow I can relate to it. I also enjoy you as one of my FAA friends & supporters!!! Thank You Florin for that! Carla :)
Florin Birjoveanu
München, Ba - Germany
I'm glad that you have an appointment with the arts! Carla your picture and story are touching. F/V
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You so very much Stephanie!! :)
Stephanie Noblet
Brooklyn, NY - United States
That's beautiful Carla...
Alessandro Della Pietra
Rome, La - Italy
It's really meaningful and beautiful, a great proove of your talent and introspection!
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You so much for that Alessandro, it means alot to me... The original drawing I kept & saved from High Schooll of this little girl is posted on here. It is entitled "High School Senior Year 1st Drawing" I think it is on page 5 or 6? Again, thank you Alessandro..... :)
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You jrr for the feature in your goup "Pastel Passion" it is one of the BEST groups out there & I am proud to be a member. I am humbled, Carla :)
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You for that lovely comment Susan. So true... without our loves & our passions what are we really? not really living.. Brings to mind a Rob Zombie song , it's called "living dead girl"
Susan Capuano
Wesley, ME - United States
Funny how we put aside the things we love just to survive until we realize that surviving without them really means very little.........love this drawing it speaks volumes as does all your work! v/f
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Judy Judy Judy :) ha ha Thank You so much Miss Judy! :D
Judy Via-Wolff
Rochester, NY - United States
Your work is dreamy and amazing! Love this! fv vt
Cristopher Ernest
Colorado Springs, CO - United States
Great fix....yes looks better now.....glad you're happy with it.
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
I fixed her... much happier now :D Her hair, arm & neck were haunting me.... lol! :)
Kume Bryant
Tucson, AZ - United States
Another great work, beautiful!! f/v
Carla Carson replied:
Kume, Thank You soooo much!!! You are soooo kind.... :)
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Your welcome Gray & Thank You! :)
Gray Artus
Asheville, NC - United States
Love this!! Thank you Carla for adding it to the Self Portrait Cafe group! v/f
Roger Wedegis
Palm Bay, FL - United States
Beautiful portrait, Carla. Thank you for sharing your story. Your artwork is fantastic! v/f
Carla Carson replied:
Your so kind Roger, Thank You so very much for your generous words. And your photography is always a pleasure to see, your very good at what you do. You share with all of us the world we will never be able to see, && we thank you for your hard work & talent my friend. Thank YOU! :)
Michael Cross
Eugene, OR - United States
Carla, Beautiful story. The world is a far better place with your art in it!
Carla Carson replied:
Aw thank you dear Michael for those sweet words. And I feel the same of your art too! Your very talented & so gifted Michael, & I love having you in my group! I'm always excited to see your new drawings & I'm always so proud to display them! :)
Susan Williams Phillips
Waco, TX - United States
Carla, she is fine just the way she is...and you just the way you are...and me..and all of us. We all turn into butterflies when we learn to our own selves to be true. Sweet butterfly dreams.
Carla Carson replied:
Susan, Thank you for that & what a lovely comment. I so very much appreciate your kind words. I really do need to work on her a bit, I was so tired & couldn't see straight anymore! But now with a good nights butterflys dreams & sleep, I'm ready to conquer the day!!! LIFE!!!! :D
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
I believe I need to fix her arm, but it will have to wait till tomorrow... soooo sleepy...
Cristopher Ernest
Colorado Springs, CO - United States
Great Story Carla.....you dance beautifully!!!.........thanks for sharing
Carla Carson replied:
Your a good friend Chris, Thank You very very much... :)
Carol McLagan
Bellingen, NS - Australia
Carla that is the most awesome story. So please you found your way back to your art and are now living for you so that we can share in your wonderful work! This is a beautiful portrait and one you must treasure very much.
Carla Carson replied:
That is a wonderful comment Carol.. Thank You so very much.. :) Funny how life works... :)
Cristopher Ernest
Colorado Springs, CO - United States
One of my favorite stories.....and i LOVE the illustrations :) V/F
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You Chris....so much... :)
Allen n Lehman
Langhorne, PA - United States
Your story is so much like mine in many ways my friend....they say water seeks its own level.!!!...............love your work and your freedom of expression.!!........................allen
Carla Carson replied:
Allen! Thank You so much my dear friend... I'm sorry if you had to go through all this growing up... I like you! & I wont beat you up!! ha ha Allen, your so sweet... :)
Patricia Januszkiewicz
Cleveland, OH - United States
Carla, this is wonderful! yes, to become a butterfly is a most difficult task but the transformation brings such a beauty into the world ...v/f .... patricia
Carla Carson replied:
Patricia, that was such a beautiful comment. Thank You so very much, your so kind... :)
Carla Carson
San Tan Valley, AZ - United States
Thank You dearest Vivian... :)
Vivian ANDERSON
Sydney, NS - Australia
Ditto! Kindred spirits,dearest Carla.....but, we didn't 'listen', did we,lol !! Great image, full of pathos, love it, xV
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