The Two Sentence Challenge

Ed Meredith's two sentence stories,

Marriage Retreat:

Claudia spent the entire drive to the marriage retreat weekend complaining about every bump in the road, song on the radio
and blaming me for taking a backroad with no rest-stops.
The last thing i remember as i sped away was Claudia squatting by the side of the road, pants around her ankles cursing
wildly as gravel and dust sprayed her ass...

The Fall of Second Eden

Eve's mind raced and filled with growing despair as she looked across the city’s forbidding landscape covered by the rubble of a world that once was. A world now void of people and filled with the ghosts of memories where they once walked, laughed. lived and loved.

Ed Meredith E-Mail
i don't know if they work or not, but here's one more with my apologies to Robert Burns, John Steinbeck and J. D. Salinger… lol

The Farmer’s Daughter:

Even though best laid scenes of mice and men who have the means, as one fair maiden did say;
“Are enjoyably made rolling, yes rolling in the hay. There are exceptions of course however,
if the gentleman is kind, good looking and clever, I will bare my treasures and share my pleasures
with the camera hidden from your eye, or as i the farmers daughter likes to call it, Catch Me in the Rye."

Ordering carryout for the War Room:

With opposing sides wanting the outcome to be theirs alone, the rhetoric raised
the tension to the edge of physical threat.

They squabbled nose to nose for hours with no compromise ever in sight, then
suddenly in a convincing flash, a solution had been won and there was peace
and quiet in the War Room as the Hawks feasted upon the Doves.

I Satyr

I belong to the brotherhood of Satyrs, lovers of wine, music and sex.
We of myth and mirth are a lewd and lustful bunch and never happier
when fueled by great quantities of the grape and in lecherous pursuit
of some hapless nymph to ravish.


Here's a two sentence story celebrating the positive power of imagination...
Dinning at Dachau

Yosef and several of his fellow prisoners at Dachau, with nothing more than conversation and gestures,
would dress for dinner in imaginary white shirts and at times with some difficulty because of the starched
material that wasn’t there, place studs and cuff links in those shirts.

They sat at the finest restaurant of their choosing and drank sparkling wines throughout the haute cuisine
service à la russe, although... they would never return a second time to a restaurant that overcooked the lobster.

Here are a few of my attempts,

Jack
Jack sat down watching Margaret's favorite TV show, CSI, while waiting for his favorite home cooked meal of hers, barbecue ribs, baked beans, potato salad and apple pie for desert. Margaret hummed a little ditty, “What Is It Like To Die” as She served Jack his dinner, then with plastic gloves placed the rat poison in a paper bag and discreetly dropped it in the neighbors garbage can.


Kathy

The baby was bathed, the suitcase packed, her Mother should be on her way, and Kathy’s heart filled with raw sexual anticipation to see Jim again in New Orleans.
A last minute check in the mirror, to her horror, behind her sat the blank eyed raggedy old woman with a dilapidated naked baby doll in her lap, the old suitcase leaned against the chair, Kathy screamed, “WHO ARE YOU? WHY, WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER YOUR NAME?”

Millie

Jake Springston was the best man to walk this earth, thought Millie, he provided for her, they went everywhere together, and for the most part he never complained much when she committed her indiscretions. Today, however might challenge his patience as she looked at his favorite leather shoes on the living room floor, chewed up, wet with her slobber, and Millie wondered, why the red rubber ball would never be enough for her.

Whose next? Patrick?

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Sydne, i was busy typing a Two Sentence Story Thread change of venue explanation and
was about to open new topic of the same name, but it seems you have beat me to it ...
oh well here it is in two sentences:

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Eviction Notice:

The innkeeper and host of 'Tell Us A Totally Made Up Story’ in his Semmelweis reflex,
has evicted the bards of the 'Two Sentence Story’ and asked that we take our few words elsewhere.

We of little words, both figuratively and otherwise have tucked our short thoughts under arm and
moved them to this new location promising that we will be as discriminating as the long winded writers.

LOL! I like yours better! Bob, The Masked Boy told us to move our pencils to another room and so here we are! It makes me want to write a two sentence story about him!O: I just might.....

Lynne's First New York Experience:

Being brand new to the big city, it took Lynne a few days to nervously ventured out from the hotel
to have dinner at the near by Carnegie Deli Restaurant and try one of their famous pastrami on rye
sandwiches, which she discovered could feed a family of four.

As she left the Restaurant a pungent and disheveled street person approached her and asked if she
could help him out and without making eye contact she thrust the leftover bag into his hands blurting
out, “Here take it”... and quicker than a New York Minute, he replied, “Got five dollars for desert?”.

LOL! Great story from the first sentence to the second! And so much raw truth Lynne's First New York Experience.

Here is my story.

"A man was completely inadequate to the task of writing a story with only two sentences, because he hate to take unnecessary liberties with our already complex English language. He just couldn't do it."

LOL and Amen to that Dick... you must have more...

Sometimes i just use the Hemingway method and use a lot of "ands"... lol

Ands work for me! I love it Dick! It is taking advantage of our English language, but then I do that everyday!

I am so pleased you joined in Dick!

Edit to add, And if it worked for Hemingway, it works for me.(:

Glad you enjoyed Lynne's story Sydne... ditto on that everyday thing too.

Having little understanding of the rules of grammar or sentence construction
allows me to unabashedly assualt the sensibilities of the learned reader.
Fun for me and fortunately for them, it's only two sentences.

Yes my lack of understanding rules of grammar is a two edged sword. For those who do, I know they are wincing, as should I, if I knew better. On the other hand, because of my lack of, I am enjoying the water, with a handful of commas and ands.

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A True and False Biography:

She met a man.
The kind of who made her want to wear red lipstick and high heels.

Couldn't resist this thread. Like Kathy's, two line stories need to be short and sweet.





The young brunette walked that night in the rain under the streetlights like she owned the street.
The next night she did it again.

The sailor set out to the sea following the call of the maidens.
He never made it.

Upon arrival at the house with the green front door and the picket fence, she realized that was the place where she belonged.
Fortunately the owner of the house thought so too.

The man with the umbrella gave shelter to the dog.
The dog said thank you and fell asleep.

The self-righteous man shouted from the street corner, ”Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”.
Someone hit him with a rock.

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The old woman wove plain cloth and tapestry.
Her satisfied customers of different ilk had more to chose from.

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A politician tried to convince the voters with his grand oratory that he was the man they needed.
Some thought so, some not.

Looking out the window, I saw this man walking by until he was gone.
Hmmm, I thought.


It was one long, cold, and dark winter night that we all sat around the fire enjoying each others conversation until the incident.
It never happened again and we all lived happily ever after.


(note: replacing the word "and" by "but" makes it a completely different story. Amazing what one tiny 3 letter word can do)

my shortest story to date...

Ed lived for better or for worse. Now he’s dead for good.

or for worse.


lol

You are on a roll. Don't die now

Hey Rudy so good to see you! It is funny how one three letter word can change everything. Great stories btw.

Yes Ed don't die now......we want more.

Great two sentence story Kathy, so glad you took the challenge!

LOL... Thanks Rudy, good to 'see' you...
i corrected it... the 'for' was in my mind and when i proof read, it was there... but not... lol

i'm going to hang in there Sydne, and one more for the road... i'm off to the real world for a short while...

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Sex and Love;

In my youth i thought it was about sex, but was told it was about love.
Then i discovered it was all about the love of sex, until i fell in love.

Sarah

Sarah reflected on her past life all those years ago, and of course heard about herself through familiar family tales, only her name was Rebekka.
Weird, she was her own great granddaughter, she laughed about it, because only she knew Rebekka was not the pristine monarch of the family crest, she was naughty when the lights went out.

Hemingway's authorship of this six word three sentence story is in dispute.
Did he write it on a bet as told, or was it actually an advertisement in a store window in the 1930s…
Whichever one it is, if you read as a story it could bring tears to your eyes.


FOR SALE. BABY SHOES. NEVER WORN.

Oh wow indeed yes it does bring tears to ones eyes. It tells the whole story.

Sydne, i can see Sarah looking at pictures of Rebekka and smiling…

Here's an echo story to your 'Sarah"

Rebecca:

Reading the story of Rebekka brought back warm memories of the 1960s
when the Rebecca i knew, with the lights on and off, went to Israel to live in a Kibbutz,
i never heard from or saw her again.

I like the echo story very much Ed!

Friday the Thirteenth

It was his aloof self confidence and the fact that he was born the thirteenth son of the thirteenth son
on a Friday the thirteenth, that made me not trust Othello, our black cat. Today is Friday the thirteenth, his birthday
and he has just walked crossed my path for the thirteenth time today and now he's sitting there staring at me.

She walked down the dusty road for the last time that blistering August afternoon. She waved goodbye but their eyes never met.

"Everyone has a secret life" he murmured. Suddenly she realized, it was true.

"“ Wha'd you, some kinda finger poppin' motherfucker.” HAHAHA Ed I will have to remember that line when it comes in handy!

Great 2 sentence challenges to Dick, Lorraine and Karen!!!(:

The doctor, with a disinterested monotone, suggested that I drink to much beer, causing confusion, poor reasoning and certain destruction of my brain cells, and that, as a result, I needed brain surgery immediately.

I thought about it for a moment considering the options and told the doctor that I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than have to have a frontal lobotomy.

That was hilarious Dick!

As I approach the podium, my heart attempts to jackhammer itself free from my body while a cold sweat races over me... a sea of faces await. I close my eyes and call to mind a peaceful place... a gentle calm begins to settle in.

The Dream

I stood before an small room of black polyester furniture and a few gathered, with my papers in hand, my Instructor in the back, peering over her Walmart spectacles waiting for my reading of a Two sentence challenge, which I spent all of two minutes writing, or so I thought.

I advised my spare audience, that I wouldn’t hold them too long, it was just a two sentence challenge, but then I noticed the 9 pages of my rhetoric, along with my Instructors critique. “This isn’t close to a two sentence story, and a shit load of run on sentences!”

HAHAhaaa... so it tis, so it tis... lol and welcome to the club. . . =>)

It was a funny dream for sure, and thats the way it happened.

The disembodied face on the television delivered the news in a monotone not far from bored... "The sky is officially falling" she droned into her microphone. I finished my last drink of coffee, got up from the table, and left an extra tip for the waitress who would no doubt appreciate the money despite the fact that the sky was falling.

Great two sentence challenge John! I don't know, but I couldn't help but think of this Political circus.

Excellent John...

Here is a peek at my thought process while on my return home flight from the Caribbean this year. i had just read some writings by Charles Bukowski which resulted in this two word sentence and a poem, which can also be written as two sentences...


Bukowski and me;
Drinking, Swearing and Throwing a Punch or Two


i met Bukowski in a skid row tavern where the corners of everything had been worn round from years of use.
The place was yellowish grey with age and reeked with the stench of stale cigarettes butts, spilled beer and whiskey that
fought through the acrid smell of sweat and urine hovering around the lost souls sitting on wobbly bar stools made
steady by their occupant’s immobility and desire to never leave.

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Bukowski and me stood toe to toe
slamming each other
with words sharp and cutting
Nothing nice going on here

Ed Meredith
2016

Bukowski And Me The Beginning Of A Great Friendship

Yes I remember when you mentioned him not too long ago. I did look him up and read his biography via Wikipedia! Very interesting life he led.

Great two sentence challenges Ed, and you doodled too!

Thanks Sydne... yeah i struggled with which thread to post on... lol

speaking of doodles, i'm off to contest vote now...

A Silly Fish Tale

I have a gold fish in my pocket that makes people laugh and stare, especially when i run my fingers so gently through it’s hair.
We met one day while swimming in a pond where the fish and i came face to face and he asked a question i thought so bold;
"Can you show me what's beyond the waters edge, its very beautiful I've been told".

The genie said to me "To you I shall bequeath the greatest of gifts... a boon of such joy and satisfaction that all who bear witness shall do so jealously... and when it's fleeting joy has passed... thou shall know calamity and sorrow" and he handed me an exquisitely crafted chocolate chip cookie. After eating the cookie, I shrugged my shoulders and said to him "Eh, it was alright I guess... got anymore?"

You know John I have experienced something like that! Spending hours on an exotic meal, and then the taste test. The shoulder shrug, eh, its okay, I wouldn't eat it again tho.

I love the photo Ed and your fishy tale!

At Sydne's request:

The Seductress

The islanders who knew her had warned me not to be seduced by her seductive nature,
but i had fallen in love at first sight and began to swim across the lagoon toward the open
sea, where she stood above with her beckoning smile. The outgoing tide pulled me faster
and faster into the perils of the open sea as she beckoned and faded into the mist and
mystery of Fata Morgana, and i called out her name as i went under for the last time;
“Morgan… Morgan Le Fay…”.

Ed Meredith
April 23, 2016

I LOVE IT! And I knew you would take to the challenge!!!!!

"She opened her eyes, afraid she'd lose the dream of peace, contentment and belonging she felt all night. As she moved to get out of bed, she heard his voice, 'did you sleep well my love'?

Wow Margaux that is great and I am intrigued!

“Goodbye, cruel forum that could not possibly survive without me” he typed before sitting back in his chair to stare at a masterpiece yet unwritten. He instead wasted precious seconds, for the blast wave from the first strike laid waste to his shack without even leaving him the opportunity to log off.

Excellent and the irony, like so often in life, cracks me up!

Dancing Shoes

Life had settled in on her, like a pair of worn slippers that have seen better days.
She shook the dust from all the years, slipping her feet into a pair of fine dancing shoes, and began to dance to the rhythm of her new song.

Barbara?