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Robert Kernodle

2 Years Ago

Creative Ideas For Scam Artists

Good day, infrequent (i.e., once-in-a-lifetime) visitors to this website looking to supplement your income with art, ... specifically scam art.

You have hit a gold mine, my friends! There are over 120,000 visual artists at this fine establishment, ... that's over 120,000 opportunities for innovative marketing by those willing to spiff up their marketing techniques a little.

Here are a couple pointers to enhance your email campaigns:

(First) - Start with a catchy name in your email header. Choose a name that subtly conveys some flavor of your generous offerings. For example, if you are promoting financial investments, choose a name like "John Cash" or "Bill Dollar". For a more patriotic flair, go with dead president names that appear on common denominations of paper currency. Names like "George Washington", "Andrew Jackson", and "Ben Franklin" are certain to make that key subliminal association between windfall profits gained from contributing cold hard cash unquestionably to complete strangers. A cutting-edge woman promoting the world's oldest service, should enlist a name that is keen on innuendo. A female who is target marketing to male Johns, for example, can't go wrong with a name like "Dooya Wright". A male entrepreneur who is target marketing to openhearted divorce's (anxious to find fulfilling love) might enlist the name "Philllip Uppman", with its positive hint of satisfying this niche's deepest needs. Subtle, sophisticated, and ever so suggestive, ... these are just the sorts of approaches that are guaranteed to put more dollars in your pocket and more smiles on the faces of your innocent victims (uh,... I mean "clients").

(Two) - The next thing is to craft an effective opening. A religious greeting is always a good ice breaker. Also, anything with the words, "honey", "sweetie", "darling", or just about any other endearment term is sure to smack of the utmost sincerity for vulnerable visual artists who have little ability to distinguish fact from fiction. Remember, my friend, this is an art community. And you can fit right in, if you are willing to innovate with a few, simple tactics to upgrade your scam art techniques.

Above all, have fun with your business venture. It's an open market in here. Go for the gold. Make your well-crafted approaches to the world's dumbest, most gullible people. Sweep 'em off their feet and into your bank account.

I hope these pointers will help in your quest for financial success. Thanks for stopping by on this one and only one occasion that you will ever visit.

Of course, this information is offered lovingly, free of charge, but if you would like to make a contribution to support the real costs of chewing gum, vodka, and cigarettes required to fuel this intelligent dialogue, then please do so. Your contribution is greatly appreciated.

God bless.

Reply Order

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Marcio Faustino

2 Years Ago

Where should I deposit my money?

 

Christine Till

2 Years Ago


Hahaha, Robert. You made my day.
Thanks for the very valuable advice :-)

 

Nicholas Evans

2 Years Ago

Nice...lol

 

Jason Christopher

2 Years Ago

chewing gum, vodka and cigarettes... is that ALL? lol ... ok and thanks.. :-)

 

Robert Kernodle

2 Years Ago

Send your checks to:

Mr. Abdul Misfitombu
Scam Artists Relief Fund
Somewherebumway, Africa

email for exact street number (^_^).

 

Jason Christopher

2 Years Ago

I had a great business SCAM idea but its not very artistic .. tho actually it is actually very artistic in many ways.. conceptually so.. and possibly for artists too as a great new concept to paint and photograph NEVER ever seen before...

... a business that was green, medically beneficial, would help solve food problems, make loads a money, the starting materials were free and you could actually charge for taking the startiong materials - why pay for it?... too good to be true???...

.. set up a liposuction business , charge for taking the human fat (or fat animals too - im sure there are many of those animals about), then make it in to food stuffs and sell it... or fry chips with it... evryone is HAPPY!!! :-)) and you could paint or photograph the whole concept, a model in action, as the green way of redistributing wealth and health and real happiness!! save the planet! make money! charge for doing it, eat it, cook with it, help the hungry, make bio deisal and cut emissions!! we wouldnt need to feel guilt anymore!!... sincerely its everything for everyone!! i love it, ok i hate it and love it....... and er hate it,love, hate, LOVE... where was i... lol :-)

...this idea is hereby copyrighted and open to offers (c) Jason Christopher 2012

 

Robert Kernodle

2 Years Ago

A human-body-fat driven economy. I love it.

Gluttony finally achieves utility.

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow ye shall be bio-fuel.

Brilliant, Jason. What's the entry-level investment?

 

Jason Christopher

2 Years Ago

why half your stomach fat Robert!! transapien tissue? worth its weight in gold! :-) lol

 

Robert Kernodle

2 Years Ago

Unfortunately, Jason, an adipose-tissue-based economy gauged on MY percentage of body fat (around 5%) would fail miserably.

There is very little lard around these loins, I'm afraid.(^_^).

For many other people in our developed world, however, there is a justified cry of "There's gold in them thar cells!"

"Eat, eat, it's good for the economy!"

Ah, a new line of infomercial products and services:

* The Blubbermatic 5000 - will take your tummy to the bank.

* Adipose Investments Inc. - operates on the concept of obesity futures - like soybeans, wheat, corn, etc.

* Technofat Enterprises - A company that manufactures Home belly fat converters that turn unwanted pounds into much wanted automobile fuel.

Anybody else have other brilliant ideas?

 

Jason Christopher

2 Years Ago

Well, y incinerate oursleves at death? burial grounds are full to capacity with triple decker limited times of occupation, with seasonal special offers no doubt, "graves" as they were once called.. just biofuel granny and daddy... lets not mess about... its green , its clean... (and erm possibly offensive...)

 

Robert Kernodle

2 Years Ago

Jason,

It appears that you and I are the only creative visionaries participating in this deep, insightful dialogue.

Yes, incineration, ... what a waste of good fat! Don't spend your cash on satin-lined tombs that clutter large expanses of land with useless, decaying flesh (oops!, did I offend anyone). Instead, turn granny and daddy and even Frisky (your beloved dog) into Earth-friendly resources that move the economy and the universe onward through their fluid cycles of birth-demise-rebirth? It's the NEW American way.

Oh, but I fear that we have drifted off track. How does all this relate to scam art technique improvement? Well,.. the fact is that the brilliant innovations of which we speak are not yet technically feasible, but scam artists could make money convincing people that they are, ... oiling the mind, so to speak, with the dream, ... until the possibility becomes a full-blown fat reality.

 

Claude Oesterreicher

2 Years Ago

Are you from Nigeria? :-p

 

Jason Christopher

2 Years Ago

Claude I am not an agent of nigeria hoping for free biofuel ingredients.... I hope u r reassured .... Y don't we meet to discuss.... How much do u weigh out of interest?? R u quite fat!?

 

Mark James Perry

2 Years Ago

A few scam artists around here. You should be careful............................

 

Claude Oesterreicher

2 Years Ago

I would be happy to discuss my liposuction needs with you, Jason...

Just post your address, phone number, social security number, bank PIN and shoe size here...so I can verify you actually are who I will be meeting with.

:-)))))

 

Elizabeth Lane

2 Years Ago

If you really want to "scam a scammer"....delude them into believeing you are very rich and very stupid......then make them work their butts off to get your money........read about on eater410(?).com. The details had me in convulsions from laughing so hard......Barney Rubble passports, a room booked at the Sheraton-Niarobi(sp), airline tickets.......these clowns at the airport holding up signs "Gomer Pyle". Quite a scream.

 

This discussion is closed.