Easter Awakening A Poem written in 2009

Easter Awakening

Spending Easter morning
At home on the couch
I ponder people
Telling me
How to feel
What to do with my life
I learned to trust nothing
But my own heart
Judgments of my life
Are not my life
Transparency about
My ever changing inner landscape
Has brought pain
At a level of honesty I crave
I need true colors
From those
I engage with
No family plans today
No What I ought to do
Or ought to have done
No well wisher friends
Pretending to know my heart
I have begun an Awakening
I vow from this moment to
Get out of my own way
To let the love conquer me
The CD I listen to
Titled Boy to Girl
Was made 4 years ago
Ages 7, 7 and 5
Now 11,11 and 9
Boy Girl, Girl
Will no longer dance together
At a Friday Night Dance Party
Held in our living room
On my couch 4 years ago
When this CD first played
How touched in my soul was I
Weeping for joy
I finally found someone
Who got the music
That calls to me
Tear streaked cheeks
Are mine today
This music
Will never be shared again
This passion I shared
Like no other before
Wells up in me
Overflowing my heart with sadness
Memories tug me to notice
And promise my future
To give this passion a voice
If ever such a rare gift
Rides into my neighorhood
When I call to him in thought