I saw that hill before... Unfortunately at that time I was unable to climb it and check what is there that's hiding from me. I kept looking at it from down below with great curiosity. I knew I would come back here and find out what's on top of it one day; it was just a matter of time. Not so long after, a few months perhaps, there I was... standing again and looking at it... The pros and cons running through my mind... The decision is made. I am going up. I crossed the road and started climbing it. It's much higher than I thought it was. I started running. I want it now. I want to see what's on top of it and I don't want to wait any longer. I am getting tired. It is much much higher than it looks like from back down. And that wind... the higher I climb the stronger it gets. I start running again. My body produces tremendous amount of heat. I can feel my legs getting all swollen up from all the blood being pumped to muscles. I am walking and sweating. I can feel wind piercing my body. Will I get ill afterwards? Will the wind get me? I run again. My jeans are so tight they will burst any minute now. I keep wondering; how is it possible that my legs got so fat so quick. It feels like they have been hiding their real potential from me. The moment I checked the jeans on my thighs was also the moment I noticed all the mud around me. The soil was wet. What the hell... It was so dry back down. There's an endless field on my left and right. The only thing that separates me from all this muddy hell is a very narrow path of grass I have been running up the hill. Unfortunately I have also found out that I am not safe even here... With every step I was taking, a big cloud of dirty muddy dust was arising from the grass... I was trapped. I was somewhere in the middle of my way to the top... my boots and the lower part of jeans were dirty, grey and white from all that dust I have been kicking around for the last couple of minutes... The moment of great regret grasped me hard and squeezed painfully. Stupid... so stupid; I thought. Who in their right minds would run up some big ass hill just to find out the view... I was seriously thinking of making my way back down, but what was the point? I would have to go back the same way and giving up now didn't make any sense. I started running up again, occasionally looking down, only to find out how it hurts my soul seeing all that dust flying on my boots and jeans... Finally I reached the top... There was nothing there... The hill was just flat... and behind it... there was just mud... endless fields of mud... I remembered that one tree I had seen from back down. I decided to meet it in person... Unfortunately, the only way to it, was through the mud... It felt like walking through a minefield. I was scared that my next step will be tragic and my boot will get swallowed or something... After short but utterly stressful and careful walk, I reached the tree... We talked for a while... it was nice. I remember running down as quickly as I could just to have the dusty path behind me. I wasn't happy back then, but now... when I look at my friend from the hill... You tell me, if it was worth it or not...
June 10th, 2017
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